You're Bacon Me Crazy Read online

  “You’re … not?”

  “No,” he said quietly. “I know Karrie likes me, but I had a long talk with her this week, and now she knows that she and I will always be just friends. And she’s okay with that, or, at least she will be when she’s done tantruming.” His eyes settled on mine, and I found myself getting lost in their deep amber color. “The girl I’ve been wanting to ask to the dance is, well, it’s you.”

  What?

  “Me?” I replied, dazed.

  He nodded, his cheeks turning red. “Couldn’t you tell?”

  I shook my head, speechless. I’d thought that winning the Flavorfest award was a surreal moment — but that couldn’t come close to this. Asher liked me? I was barely aware of the bustle of the crowd around me as Asher and I faced each other.

  “I’ve liked you from that first day at the truck, when you called me conceited,” Asher admitted, his blush deepening. He looked cuter by the minute. “Of course, I didn’t realize it then. I think I really started to realize it that night of the concert, when we watched the meteor shower.”

  “Oh,” I said softly, the memories washing over me. Had I been totally blind? Somehow I’d completely missed that while I’d been falling for Asher, he’d been falling for me, too.

  “I wasn’t sure how you felt, though,” Asher went on, sounding nervous. “So I kind of sent Tristan to do some spy work for me, to try to maybe gauge what you were thinking.”

  “Oh,” I said again, only this time I finally understood why Tristan had been stopping by the truck and asking me so many questions. Especially about the dance. He’d been trying to figure out if I had a date yet or not, so that Asher could ask me. I made a mental note to thank him later.

  “Wait.” Asher’s brow furrowed for a second. “Do you like Tristan?”

  “No!” I said, still wrapping my head around the fact that I could make Asher Rivers jealous. “Not in that way. I mean, he’s a great guy — nicer than I would’ve imagined a Beautiful Person could be —” I caught myself.

  “Beautiful Person?” Asher echoed, a smile playing on his lips. “Is that what you call us?”

  I shrugged, blushing. “Mei and I came up with it … for your, you know, your crew of friends.” I bit my lip, meeting Asher’s gaze. “Though I guess our crews have blended a little bit.”

  “They have,” Asher said, stepping closer to me. My pulse spiked. “And I’m grateful to you for that.”

  “I’m grateful to you, too,” I whispered back. “And I hope …” My blood was roaring in my ears, but I made myself say the words. “I hope you know I do feel the same way you do. Even if it also took me a little while to realize it.”

  There, in the middle of Flavorfest, Asher and I stood grinning at each other. My heart felt like it might burst.

  “Just FYI,” Asher said after a moment, “Mei’s already booked you for a shopping trip and makeover between now and Valentine’s Day. So she’ll be devastated if you turn me down, and” — he swallowed — “she’s not the only one. I know dances aren’t really your thing, but I —”

  “Yes,” I interrupted. “I’d love to go to the dance with you.” I paused. “But on one condition.”

  “What condition?” Asher asked, puzzled.

  A wide smile broke across my face. “We have a pillow fight first.”

  So it was that on Valentine’s Day, Asher and I stood in a teeming crowd of hundreds in Justin Herman Plaza with pillows at the ready, waiting for the stroke of six o’clock.

  “I almost hate to do this,” Asher said, grinning slyly. “You look so great tonight.”

  “Thanks,” I said, blushing. “But if you don’t use that pillow, I’ll never forgive you.”

  Asher laughed. “You got it.” He looked ridiculously handsome in a navy-blue suit and tie, his curly hair combed back.

  I smiled at him and tightened my grip on my pillowcase, then glanced down at my own outfit.

  Even I had to admit that Mei’s makeover had worked a small miracle. The strapless burgundy dress she’d helped me pick out fit perfectly, and I’d grudgingly agreed to wear kitten-heeled black shoes that were really very cute. And for tonight, and tonight only, I’d let Mei and Mom blow my curls out into a long, sleek wave that waterfalled down my back. I’d even let Mei dab on a little blush and mascara. But I drew the line at lip gloss, remembering what had happened to her last year during the Great Pillow Fight.

  Even though dresses and heels would never be my style, I thought that maybe I could get used to them every once in a while.

  As the bell tower tolled six o’clock, I raised my pillowcase high over my head and brought it down on Asher’s as he whacked his pillow into my back. We whaled on each other and everyone around us with our pillows, and soon, feathers were flying through the air like snow as people whooped and shrieked. I laughed uncontrollably as Asher pulled feathers out of his mouth, and thought that, no matter how old I got, I would never, ever outgrow the Great San Francisco Pillow Fight.

  Half an hour later, it was all over, and Asher and I were dragging our pillow-decimated selves out of the feather-filled plaza toward the bench where Cleo and Gabe had been watching and waiting to take us to the dance. Though Cleo was fully recovered from her appendicitis, she had still decided to sit this year’s fight out. She’d offered to be our chaperone instead.

  Now, she and Gabe took one look at me and Asher, covered from head to toe in fluffy down softness, and busted out laughing.

  “I can’t believe I’m taking you to the dance looking like that,” Cleo said as Gabe hailed a cab on Embarcadero to take us from downtown to Bayview.

  I giggled. “Hey, if I can’t go as myself, then what’s the point?”

  “Exactly,” seconded Asher.

  Of course, Mei was a little tougher to convince. When Asher and I walked into the Bayview school gym, I didn’t have time to blink before Mei spotted me and nearly screamed in horror.

  “My masterpiece … ruined,” she shrieked, not even giving me a chance to respond before dragging me to the bathroom. But she’d brought along her makeup bag for just such an emergency, and in a matter of minutes, I left the bathroom in a freshly touched-up coat of glam, this time with a little lip gloss thrown on for good measure.

  As we stepped back into the gym, Mei motioned toward the dance floor. “So,” she said hesitantly, “what do you think of the decorations?”

  I glanced around and smiled. I didn’t know how she’d done it, but Mei had actually made the gym look like it was wearing one of her pink skirts. A sheer, blush-colored canopy draped gracefully from the ceiling, and ice-pink lights cascaded down from it, giving the room a rosy glow. The normally gray walls were covered in paper valentines of every size and shade of pink imaginable. Pink metallic heart balloons formed an arched gateway to the dance floor, and the snack table overflowed with cupcakes and chocolate-covered strawberries. The only thing in the entire room that wasn’t pink was my contribution to the evening, a heaping platter of Bacon Me Crazy BLTs.

  On any other day, I might’ve teased Mei about the explosion of pink. But instead, tonight, I hugged her and grinned. “It’s the best Meikeover I’ve ever seen. I love it.”

  Mei beamed. “I’m so glad you do,” she said, then gasped as a new song started playing. “Omigod. It’s the Psychedelic Furs. ‘Pretty in Pink’! How perfect!”

  “I requested it just for you,” Ben said to her, walking over with Asher. “I thought it could be our song,” he said shyly, taking Mei’s hand. “Let’s dance.”

  Mei gazed at him dreamily, then gave me a smile over her shoulder as Ben whisked her onto the dance floor. Leo and Ann joined them, and I saw Tristan out there, too, spinning Karrie around the floor. He was twirling her so crazily that she was laughing in spite of herself. And for a second I saw a hint of a sweeter, kinder Karrie. We’d probably never end up friends, but I felt hopeful that we might not be enemies forever, either, and that was enough for now.

  “So Mei and Ben have a song.” I
rolled my eyes at Asher. “Isn’t that sort of … cheesy?”

  Asher shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, you have a sandwich named after you.”

  “I do?” I blinked in surprise.

  He nodded, looking proud of himself. “It’s your Valentine’s present. I just came up with it this week, and Cleo’s adding it to the menu. The CounTessa. Bacon between two pieces of French toast smothered in habanero apricot jam. The perfect blend of sweetness and bite.”

  “The CounTessa,” I repeated quietly, my heart thrilling. “I like the sound of that. It will fit in perfectly with the rest of the bacon menu.”

  Since Flavorfest, Cleo and Gabe had decided to give the Tasty Truck an all-bacon menu permanently. After all, bacon was what we were great at, and since we’d won the Flavorfest Best Award, bacon was what we were now famous for. We’d sold more BLTs in the last week than we’d sold over the entire last year, and if we kept it up, the Tasty Truck would be the destination for San Francisco bacon lovers.

  Now Asher put his arm on the small of my back to lead me to the dance floor. “You know, I liked the goose-down look you had going on earlier, but I love this.”

  “Don’t get your hopes up,” I said as we started to dance. The feel of his arms around my waist made me wonderfully light-headed. “It won’t last. You’ll just have to take me the way I am, bacon, bobby pins, and all.”

  “I love bobby pins, too,” he said, touching the spot where a single rhinestone dragonfly bobby pin lay tucked in my hair. “Hey, there’s only one tonight? What’s it for?”

  I laughed. “So I won’t forget to tell you what a great time I had.”

  Asher’s face fell ever so slightly. “Oh,” he said, sounding disappointed, “I thought it might be there so you wouldn’t forget to … kiss me?”

  My heart gave a huge leap and butterflies filled my stomach. “I knew I could never forget that,” I whispered.

  Asher leaned toward me, and our lips met in a soft, lingering kiss. In my wildest dreams, I’d never imagined that I’d be at the Sweet Heart Ball, kissing Asher Rivers, who’d turned out to be the sweetest guy in the school.

  Once upon a time, I’d thought that there could be nothing better than bacon. But I’d been wrong. This moment was definitely more delicious than anything in the world.

  A little bit of bacon makes anything better! Tessa had fun cooking with it, and you can, too! Just remember that bacon can get extremely hot while it’s cooking, or even when it’s fresh from the skillet or microwave. Always be sure to have an adult supervise when you’re handling freshly cooked bacon, and whenever you’re using a stovetop or oven. An adult should also always supervise or be in charge of the chopping and dicing of any ingredients.

  For the BLT:

  2 slices multigrain or eight-grain bread, toasted

  2–3 slices freshly cooked bacon

  2–3 slices fresh or roasted tomatoes

  2–3 leaves baby romaine lettuce, washed and dried

  1–2 tbsp Tessa’s special sauce

  Cook bacon in a skillet over medium heat until browned and crispy. Remove from heat and set aside. Toast two slices of multigrain or eight-grain bread. Slice one fresh tomato. If you prefer roasted tomato, slice one fresh tomato, drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and bake in the oven for 25 minutes at 450°. Tear two or three leaves of baby romaine in half and set aside. Put your bread slices on a plate and spread with 1–2 tbsp of Tessa’s special sauce. Now, add bacon, sliced tomato, and lettuce. Enjoy!

  For the special sauce:

  1 avocado

  ¼ tsp garlic salt

  ½ cup sour cream

  ¼ cup mayonnaise

  1 tbsp lemon juice

  1 tbsp Dijon mustard

  1 tsp chipotle pepper

  1 tsp crushed or finely chopped bacon

  Mash one avocado with a fork or with a handheld mixer until it’s a fine, creamy consistency. Add in garlic salt, sour cream, mayonnaise, lemon juice, Dijon mustard, and chipotle pepper. Blend well. Stir in crushed or finely chopped bacon. Spread the sauce on your BLT, and enjoy! Makes enough sauce for approximately ten BLTs.

  1¼ cups flour

  ¼ tsp baking soda

  ¼ tsp baking powder

  tsp cinnamon

  4–5 strips bacon, crumbled

  4 tbsp butter, softened

  ½ cup peanut butter

  ½ cup granulated sugar

  ½ cup packed brown sugar

  1 egg

  1 tsp vanilla

  ½ cup semisweet chocolate chips (optional)

  ½ cup chopped honey-roasted peanuts (optional)

  1 tbsp butter for greasing baking sheet

  Preheat oven to 375°. Mix flour, baking soda, baking powder, and cinnamon in a large bowl. Cook the bacon in a skillet over medium heat until brown and crispy. Set on a plate to cool. Once cool, crumble bacon with your fingers. In a mixer, blend softened butter and peanut butter together. Slowly add in granulated sugar and brown sugar, mixing until creamy. Next add in egg and vanilla, mixing until fluffy. Slowly add dry ingredients, blending thoroughly. Stir in bacon, chocolate chips, or chopped nuts. Place scoops of dough onto a greased baking sheet and bake about 12–14 minutes, or until golden brown. Makes about a dozen cookies. Enjoy!

  1 tbsp butter for greasing pan

  ½ cup flour

  ¼ tsp baking powder

  ¼ tsp salt

  ⅓ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

  1 cup granulated sugar

  1 tsp vanilla extract

  ½ cup vegetable oil

  2 eggs

  12 vanilla caramels

  1 tbsp milk

  4–5 strips bacon, chopped

  Preheat oven to 350°. Grease 9x9 baking pan. Cook the bacon in a skillet over medium heat until brown and crispy. Set on a plate to cool. Once cool, crumble bacon with your fingers. Combine flour, baking powder, salt, and cocoa powder in a bowl and set aside. With a mixer, combine sugar, vanilla, and vegetable oil. Add eggs, beating until creamy. Gradually add in flour mixture until well blended. Pour into baking pan. Heat vanilla caramels and milk in a small saucepan over medium heat until melted, stirring constantly. Drizzle caramel sauce over brownie batter. Sprinkle with chopped bacon. Bake for 20–25 minutes, or until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. Enjoy!

  For the cupcakes:

  1¼ cups self-rising flour

  1 tsp baking soda

  ½ tsp baking powder

  ¼ cup finely chopped or minced bacon (4–5 strips)

  5 tbsp butter, softened

  5 tbsp brown sugar

  4 tbsp pure maple syrup

  1 egg

  ¼ cup milk

  Preheat oven to 350°. Line cupcake tin with paper cupcake liners. Combine flour, baking soda, and baking powder in a bowl. Set aside. Cook bacon in a skillet over medium heat until brown and crispy. Set aside on a plate to cool. Once cool, finely chop or mince bacon. In a mixer, combine butter, brown sugar, and maple syrup. Add egg and blend. Gradually add in flour mixture and milk, alternating a little bit of flour mixture, then milk, until fully combined. Stir in the bacon. Pour batter into cupcake liners, filling each liner ¾ full. Bake for 18–22 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Makes approximately 8 cupcakes.

  For the icing:

  3 strips of bacon, chopped

  1 8-oz package of cream cheese, softened

  2 tbsp butter, softened

  2 cups powdered sugar

  tsp nutmeg

  2 tsp cinnamon

  ¼ cup maple syrup

  1 tbsp chocolate sprinkles (optional)

  Cook bacon in a skillet over medium heat until brown and crispy. Set on a plate to cool. When cool, chop bacon. With a handheld mixer, blend cream cheese and butter. Gradually add in powdered sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, and maple syrup. Blend until creamy and fluffy. Spread on cooled cupcakes, then top with additional chopped bacon and chocolate sprinkles. Enjoy!

  Keep reading for
a sneak peek at Suzanne Nelson’s next book, Donut Go Breaking My Heart!

  Here it comes. The lightning strike of inspiration. The perfect idea. Wait … for … it.

  I stared down at the rows of golden rings, breathing deeply. Their scent was like a sweet, doughy hug in the cramped but cozy kitchen.

  Anticipation had kept me warm on the short, snowy walk here from my apartment on Sixth Street in Manhattan’s East Village. I’d stayed up past midnight brainstorming without success, but I wasn’t worried. One whiff of the fresh-baked goodness from Doughlicious was always enough to set my brain humming.

  Helping out at the donut shop was a win-win; it meant I got to spend extra time with my BFF, Kiri Seng, whose parents owned Doughlicious. And my own parents approved. “Work will do her good,” my dad had told my mom. “Talking to customers will force her out of her shell.”

  Well, the work might not have fixed my shyness, since I spent most of the time hiding in the kitchen instead of out front dealing with customers. But I got my best set-design ideas while I kneaded dough or drizzled icing. Last year, while baking donuts, I realized I could rig up a treadmill to create a moving yellow brick road for our school’s production of The Wizard of Oz.

  And now I needed another good idea. It would come. It had to come.

  I lifted a still-warm donut from the tray and dipped it into a large bowl of caramel. Then I zigzagged melted bittersweet chocolate over the icing and added a sprinkling of sea salt for a finishing touch. I reached for the next donut, and the next after that. The rhythm of the motions had a hypnotic effect, and soon I was lost in thought, envisioning an empty stage, waiting for its perfect set.

  A set design showing a fresh, distinctive take on Romeo and Juliet. That was what my application to New York University’s summer drama program had asked for. My plan had been to work on the set model over winter break so that I’d be well on my way to finishing it before starting back at school. It was due by February 3. Three weeks from now. I wanted to get into this program so badly, more than anything else I’d wanted ever. That wanting seemed to be freezing up my brain, because so far, I hadn’t come up with a single inspiring thought.