Hot Cocoa Hearts Page 14

  “Huh,” he muttered, casting another long glance at my elf ears.

  I waited to feel a shudder of embarrassment, but it never came. Instead, what I felt was the certainty of knowing that I’d have to tell him everything. The sooner the better. Alex had been right all along. The Emery that Sawyer had seen before had been trying so hard to be the sort of someone he’d fall for. Now it was time to let every side of myself show, and let him decide whether he liked all of me or not.

  With pulse racing, I faced Sawyer. “I wasn’t sure you got my text,” I said.

  “Yeah, I got it,” he said. “I was in the groove with some music stuff earlier, and stringing lights and ornaments would kill my muse. Can’t let that happen. Nothing comes before my music.” He grinned. “I figured you’d get that.”

  “Oh. Uh-huh.” I didn’t get it, though. So many of my friends had dropped everything to help me today. But Sawyer couldn’t find the time? My smile dimmed as my chest tightened in disappointment.

  “Anyway,” he continued, “I walked over to see if you still wanted to go to the movies. The theater over in Boonton has power backup, and my mom can drive us over—”

  “I’m going to grab some cider,” Alex mumbled, excusing himself to head for the house. “See you later, Sawyer.”

  I gave Alex a hesitant smile, trying to send him a silent “thanks” for giving Sawyer and me a minute alone. But he ducked his head and turned away.

  I focused back on Sawyer. “Um. The movies. Right.” I twisted my gloves in my hand, my pulse hammering in my throat. Yesterday, I would’ve jumped at the chance to escape the Holiday Stroll. Yesterday, I would never have felt this kind of anticipation over a bunch of people gawking at our house. But a lot had happened since yesterday. “What if we hung out here?” I suggested.

  “At your house?” His enthusiasm dipped a notch, and he scanned the yard with a look of mild disinterest. “I don’t get it. You told me you weren’t into any of this.”

  “I know I did. But we just finished fixing up the Holly Jolly House, and any minute now the power might be coming back to our street.” I sucked in a breath. “I want to stay here to see it light up. We’ve been working so hard …”

  “We?” Sawyer repeated. “You and Alex?”

  I nodded. “And everyone else, too. But Alex’s been here since this morning. He’s been great helping out.”

  “I believe it.” Sawyer shook his head, giving a short laugh. “He’s like an elf himself, that guy. Nice enough, but that ‘ho-ho-ho’ attitude gets on my nerves.”

  I stiffened, and before I had time to think, I found myself saying, “I love the way Alex looks at things. I mean, when he talks to little kids about Christmas, their faces light up. He’s got this enthusiasm that’s totally infectious. It’s—it’s”—I grinned, shrugging—“magic.” Sawyer raised his eyebrows in surprise, but I gulped and kept going. “And if you think his attitude is so annoying, then what do you think about mine?”

  Sawyer scoffed. “You’re in some guilt phase with your dad, that’s all. It’ll pass.” He leaned forward. “I know you, Em.”

  “I’m not sure you do,” I said quietly. “I didn’t think I was into Christmas. Not anymore. But I wasn’t being honest with myself. And …” I bolstered myself for the next revelation. “I haven’t been honest with you, either.” I motioned to my elf costume. “This costume isn’t just because of the Holly Jolly House. I’ve been wearing it for the last month, whenever I work at the North Pole Wonderland at the mall.”

  His brow creased in confusion. “You mean, the Santa photo booth?”

  I nodded. “I’ve been working there with my parents, but I didn’t want you to know. I was embarrassed, but now I see how stupid that was. I had the chance to give all these kids something special, and blew it.” I sighed, clutching Grandma’s locket for courage. “But … this costume, these decorations, this season. I love it. I always have. I had just—kind of tried to push it aside. To forget about it. Until someone reminded me.”

  Alex’s face popped into my head, and my heart picked up its pace.

  Sawyer stared down at the snow for a long minute. “Okay,” he said slowly. “So, what is it you really want, Em?”

  I smiled. “Tonight? I want to light up the Holly Jolly House with my dad. After that …” I shrugged, laughing lightly. “Well, I guess that’s as far as I’ve gotten.”

  Sawyer nodded. “I could stay, but since we’re being honest, I’d be lousy at handing out candy canes and giving good tidings, all that jazz.” He smiled, and I was relieved to see understanding in his face. He seemed to realize in that moment, as I did, that he and I didn’t have that much in common in the end.

  I looked into those amber eyes that I’d dreamed about for so long and, for the first time, saw them without a crush-induced haze. When I did that, they didn’t seem nearly as irresistible as they once had.

  “Anyway, if you change your mind about the movies down the road, give me a call.” Sawyer took a step toward the sidewalk and waved. “It’s been fun, getting to know you better.”

  I recovered my senses long enough to give him a grateful smile. “You too.” I waved. “See you later.”

  I turned toward the house, feeling lighter from knowing I’d done the right thing with Sawyer. As my foot touched the first porch step, there was a blinding flash, and in an instant, the Holly Jolly House was ablaze with thousands of colored lights and singing, dancing animals. Our power was back on!

  The rest of the neighborhood was still dark, but the Holly Jolly House illuminated everything. My front door flew open and everyone ran down the steps, clapping and hollering and dancing around the glimmering yard.

  Jez, Lyra, and Rafael grabbed baskets of candy canes to get ready for incoming holiday strollers. Nyssa gathered a group of glee kids along the porch to sing carols. Alex’s abuelo carried a tray of hot cocoa to the edge of our driveway to pass out mugs to the crowd. The last ones out the door were Mom and Dad, who was leaning gingerly on Mom for support.

  “Emery.” Dad beamed, pulling me into a hug. “You did all this?”

  “I had a lot of help,” I said.

  He shook his head. “I don’t believe it.” He glanced around, taking in the dancing animals and twinkling lights. The boyish grin he’d been missing the last week spread wide across his face.

  “Do you think Grandma would’ve liked it?” I whispered, pressing my face into his chest.

  “Oh, Em. She would’ve loved it.”

  I felt my heart lift, and then I turned as Jez tapped my shoulder.

  “Guys,” she said, “you’ve got to see this.” She nodded toward the end of our street, where at least a hundred people were walking with flashlights, heading for our house. The Holiday Stroll was happening after all! Leading the parade was the Light & Power driver from this morning, holding hands with his two children.

  He waved at me. “You kept your promise. I kept mine.”

  “How did you do it?” I asked.

  He grinned. “Santa works his magic with flying reindeer, I work mine with a pair of pliers.”

  “Merry Christmas!” I cried, not caring if I sounded over-the-top jolly. Then I caught sight of Sophie, the little girl who I’d made cry the afternoon I told her I wasn’t a real elf. She was standing in line with her mom.

  I kneeled down in front of her while her mom looked on warily.

  “Hey, Sophie,” I said cheerfully. “Remember me? Emery Elf?”

  She looked doubtful for a second, then hesitantly nodded.

  I leaned toward her conspiratorially. “I wanted to tell you that your mom was right. I was undercover that day, protecting my identity. We have to disguise ourselves as ordinary humans every once in a while, for the top secret elf work we have to do. But I’m here to tell you firsthand, we’re real. And so is Santa. Can I trust you to keep our secret?” I winked, and her mouth dropped open in awe as she nodded.

  I gave her a thumbs-up, then handed her a candy cane. “I’m so glad
Santa and I can count on you.”

  Sophie grinned at me, her eyes sparkling. I stood up to nod to her mom, who gave me a relieved smile. Then I scanned the yard again for Alex, wondering where he was in all the fray.

  “Hey, have you seen Alex?” I asked Nyssa as the rest of the carolers warmed up. “I figured he’d be on the hot cocoa crusade with Señor Perez by now.”

  Her brow furrowed. “I thought you knew. He went home. While you were outside talking to Sawyer.”

  “What?” My heart sank. “But he didn’t even say good-bye.”

  Nyssa shrugged. “I guess he figured you were too busy with Sawyer.”

  “Not even close,” I said absently, disappointment overshadowing the happiness I’d felt only a minute ago. “It turns out I was wrong about Sawyer. He’s not for me.” Nyssa’s jaw dropped, but I shook my head. “No, I’m good with it. I should’ve realized it before.”

  Nyssa tapped her finger against her chin thoughtfully. “I had you two pegged for happily-ever-after.”

  “I think I fell for the idea of Sawyer. The real deal was different.” I searched the yard again. “I can’t believe Alex just left,” I murmured. “It doesn’t seem right without him here. I just don’t get why—”

  “I think I do,” Nyssa cut in. “I mean, he never fessed up to his feelings straight out, but it makes perfect sense …” Her voice trailed off as she stared at the ground, debating. Then she nodded like she’d made up her mind. “I have to tell you something, Em. He’s going to kill me, but …” She clenched her eyes shut and blurted, “Remember the mystery person who helped Sawyer with your gifts? It was Alex.” She clapped a hand over her mouth. “Thank goodness it’s finally out! I wanted to tell you so many times, but he made me swear not to.”

  My stomach dropped to my toes as I stared at her, speechless. What had she just said? When I finally found my voice, I whispered, “You mean, Alex picked out my Secret Santa gifts?”

  She nodded. “Every single one. I heard him talking about it with Sawyer in the hallway at school one day. Sawyer said that if Alex hadn’t been helping him, he wouldn’t have had a clue what to get you. Alex realized that I’d heard everything, but he made me promise not to tell you. I wondered why Alex would want to help, but when I saw the way he was looking at you earlier today, it was so obvious.” She gripped my hands with her mittened ones. “He likes you, Em. I think he really likes you.”

  “I can’t believe it.” The ground underneath my feet seemed to be surging, and I was reeling with it, stunned by what I’d heard. All this time I’d been so convinced that Sawyer understood me so well, better than anyone. All this time, it had been Alex picking out the perfect gifts for me. Alex. Alex …

  “I had to tell you,” Nyssa went on, “because I think you might feel the same way?”

  Realization struck, and I blushed crazily. “Oh. No,” I started, flustered. “It’s not like that …”

  “Not yet,” she said, “but did you ever think that maybe you want it to be?”

  I opened my mouth to deny it, then found with astonishment that I couldn’t. I smiled, in relief and excitement as the emotions that had seemed so muddled in my head swiftly snapped into place. Why had it taken me so long to see what was right in front of my face? I didn’t know, but all I cared about now was putting everything to rights.

  “I’m going to go find him,” I declared to Nyssa, and she beamed.

  I spun around and nearly slammed into Mom and Dad.

  “I see our resident photographer’s falling down on the job,” Dad said teasingly.

  Mom nodded. “How about a few pics for posterity?”

  “Actually, there’s something I really need to do,” I started, but then caved when Dad’s face fell. “Okay. One for now, and then I promise to take more in a bit.”

  I lifted my camera and snapped a picture of the Holly Jolly House in all its glittery glory. It was a truly inspiring sight. The most beautiful thing about it, though, wasn’t the lights or the music, but the jubilant smiles on the faces of the dozens of people basking in its glow.

  After I showed Mom and Dad the photo, I hurriedly put my camera back in its case. “I have to go find Alex. I need to talk to him.”

  Mom looked at me quizzically, then laughed. “Well, you don’t need to search too hard. He’s right behind you.”

  My heart sprang to my throat as I turned. There he was. Alex, grinning at me and holding two steaming cups in his hands.

  “I—I thought you left,” I stammered. “You didn’t say good-bye. I thought …”

  “Thought what?” he said, taking a step closer.

  I took a deep breath. “I thought you left because of Sawyer.”

  He dropped his eyes to the ground. “I know that I can’t do anything to change the way you feel about him. I didn’t leave because of him.”

  “You didn’t?” I asked doubtfully. He shook his head adamantly, but I wasn’t buying it for a second. “Okay, well, if you’re sure,” I said, faking nonchalance even as my heart raced, “then I need you to come with me.”

  Before I lost my courage completely, I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward our igloo. We breezed by Nyssa, who was standing beside Jez, giving her a whispered earful. I could only guess it was a detailed lowdown on what was happening with Alex and me, because when Jez glanced my direction, she gave me a wide-eyed look, followed by an encouraging thumbs-up. I laughed. So much for Nyssa keeping secrets. I guessed it was only a matter of minutes before the entire Fairview student body knew what was going on, but I didn’t care. The only thing I cared about was that Alex was right here, right now, hopefully still liking me.

  “What are we doing in here?” he asked once we were inside the igloo. He set the cups on the ground and faced me, perplexed, his dark curls falling across his forehead. The soft red and green lights undulated against the snowy walls, casting colorful shadows across his face. Suddenly, I had a strong sense of déjà vu. This had happened before. But when? My heart stopped. In my dream! The dream where I’d been about to kiss Sawyer. Only the boy in my dream hadn’t been Sawyer at all. He’d been Alex.

  I smiled, taking a step closer to him. “I have a special delivery for you,” I said, reaching into my pocket. “From your Secret Santa.”

  He blinked at me blankly. “Really? I didn’t even know I had one.”

  Summoning every ounce of courage I had, I pulled the sprig of mistletoe out of my pocket and hung it over our heads.

  Alex looked up, redness blooming furiously across his cheeks. “Um, what are you doing?”

  I laughed over my pounding pulse. “Don’t tell me Santa’s biggest fan doesn’t know what to do with mistletoe!”

  “Oh, I know what to do,” he bumbled. “I just wasn’t sure you wanted—”

  I didn’t let him finish. I stood on my toes and kissed him. The kiss was breathtaking and sweet. Everything I’d always thought a first kiss should be. Everything that Sawyer’s wasn’t. I knew, with more certainty than ever before, that Alex was who I belonged with. It wasn’t logical, or perfect. Alex made me feel off-balance and challenged. We’d probably end up fighting as much as we laughed, but that would only make it more exciting. My heart had known this all along. It had just taken my head a while to catch up.

  I pulled away to see Alex smiling at me—a bigger smile than I’d ever seen on him before, and that was saying something.

  I whispered into his ear, “It was you all along giving Sawyer the ideas for gifts.”

  He nodded. “I’ve had a crush on you since the first time I saw you at school. You didn’t even know I existed, but I kept hoping. And when you started working at the mall, I finally got up the courage to talk to you.” He pulled me closer. “I wanted to tell you how I felt, so many times. But I thought if I was ever going to have a real shot with you, you’d have to figure out everything on your own. And …” He grinned. “My theory about you was right.”

  I laid my head against his shoulder. “It’s you who really gets me. I
’m sorry I didn’t see it before.”

  He brushed my hair out of my eyes. “And I’m sorry I didn’t get to give you any of the gifts in person. But now I do.” He reached for the steaming cups on the ground and handed me one brimming with marshmallows. “Merry Christmas.”

  “Thanks,” I said, feeling a touch of confusion, “but … you know I don’t like hot chocolate.”

  He shook his head. “This is what I went home for. I think I finally made some hot cocoa you will like.” He nodded toward the cup. “Go ahead. Try it.”

  I took a tentative sip, then another, longer one. I closed my eyes. The hot chocolate wasn’t like any I’d ever tasted before. It was bittersweet and rich, with an unexpected bite. It was the perfect combination of sweet and spicy. “Yum.” I sipped again. “I love it.”

  “Victory is mine at last!” Alex cried, hugging me while I laughed. “I figured out what was missing. I added in some crushed Oaxacan chilies. Ordinary hot chocolate would never do for a girl as extraordinary as you.” He grinned as I blushed. “Abuelo says we’ll start selling it in the store next week.”

  “But it needs a name,” I said. “What are you going to call it?”

  “I have the perfect name for it.” He leaned close and gave me another sweet, lingering kiss. “Hot Cocoa Kiss. Of course.”

  There is nothing cozier than cuddling up with a cup of hot cocoa on a cold winter’s day! With the perfect recipes, Alex finally convinced Emery to give in to her cocoa cravings, and now you can enjoy them, too! Just remember to always have adult supervision when you’re using a stovetop or oven, or when you’re handling hot foods.

  These toasty treats will be sure to melt your heart!

  4 cups whole milk

  1/2 cup sugar

  1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (for Oaxacan hot chocolate, use 5 discs of Mexican chocolate, which can be found online or at your local grocery store)

  3/4 tsp vanilla extract

  1/4 cup caramel sauce (can be found with ice-cream toppings in your local grocery store)